Ever since I was a kid, I’ve been afraid of girls.
They were mean and scary and questioned everything and made me feel small, insecure and inadequate.
I was homeschooled until I was 14, so I also didn’t know pretty much anything about social contracts. I didn’t know about hierarchies and status - that people could be mean on purpose. I didn’t know about sucking up or standing down. I didn’t know anything about my place in the world.
I also didn’t know that all of that eventually breaks apart and reverting back to the you you were as a child is really what life is about. Learning to be as much you as you can possibly be.
Most of my friends were boys for many years. Some of those friendships revolved around the validation I received around them. But all that time I robbed myself of the opportunity to know that sacred bond between two women who’ve built a foundation of trust and honesty between one another.
Developing friendships with women is work. The more we mature, the more we can see through the facades we illuminate ourselves with. Women tend to mature faster than men, generally speaking - so its often pretty easy to see through all that and catch glimpses of the scared, insecure and under confidant woman beneath. And no one wants to be friends with someone who has no idea who she is.
It means to develop close friendships with women, to build a support system within those realms, you need to face truths about yourself. You need to be aware of your weaknesses and know your boundaries. You need to take the time and energy to listen and learn.
So if you’re a woman who’s always been a guys girl. If you’re a woman who’s intimidated by other women - or simply can’t stand the bullshit rules some female friendships are governed by. If you’re into deep life talks and growing as a human.
You’re not alone. If you wanna go climb or hike or talk about the mountains & earth - if you want to discuss the meaning of life and future generations. If you want to deconstruct our histories & share your story. If you want to talk about the pain in your heart.
Say hello. I don’t bite.
Photo by: Mark Scherle